What's on my iPod v.10

It's been so long since I've done one of these posts.. I feel it's time to bring it back, considering all the new music I've discovered and am currently loving. Enjoy! xo




I've been listening to Minus the Bears new album lately and it's awesome! However, Highly Refined Pirates will probably always be my favorite. Loved this song since high school; it conjures images of lying around in bed on a gray weekend morning (perfect for this current Nor'Easter weather!)



Islands has become a mainstay in my music choice lately. Their newest album is more down to earth and less space-y than previous; it's really working for them.



I just recently found Gates and I'm really impressed. This is my favorite song by them, the lyrics are really touching my soul.



This is another band I'm not too familiar with, but I am SO obsessed with this song! It flows so well, I love the guitar, and the lyrics
{it's hard to take risks, with a pessimist}



Naturally, there has to be a Circa song on here since their new album was just released this past August. It's awesome.
Classic, amazing vocals and the most perfect lines
{I won't share your anger, it doesn't do me any good to feel.. }



Lana Del Rey is my girl crush, and her words are so easy to identify with. The video is pure genius, and I love that they put Josh Kurpuis in it
{avid reader of his blog Kemosabe + the Lodge- check it out!}

Full Circle.

March 7th to March 9th, 2006
~i guess this is the end of everything. and its all kind of mixed-up, because im really sad and im happy and im relieved, but most of all im confused and i dont know how to use anything but run-on sentences, and for some reason, i keep running into things that just make me feel worse and i tried to get rid of all your old e-mails and the stupid things you gave me, but i guess i cant. i guess maybe its for the better, because i cant keep taking it out on myself everytime i get hurt. and i guess youre right, theres no reason for us to stay like this. and i guess youre right, well still be friends. for a while anyways. sometimes i wish i could forget everything, and sometimes i regret everything ive ever told you. and sometimes i regret everything we've ever done/ seen together. but most of the time i dont, and i guess thats the worst part. i want to hate you, my friends say i should. and i cant. i guess im just afraid of being alone. and i guess i forgot what its like when you dont have someone who will hold your hand, and when you dont have someone to fall asleep next to. and when you look back on everything that made you laugh, and it just makes you cry because you cant remember ever being that happy. maybe i overreact to everything, and maybe im jealous and paranoid. but i dont think im that bad. i dont know, im sick of trying to look on the bright side and im sick of saying things will get better, because when they dont i just get let down. ive never loved/needed/wanted someone so much. its completely foreign to me, to be this infatuated with someone else. my entire life has been selfish, and maybe thats why sometimes i did such a bad job of being your girlfriend. but i love you more than anything. and it was my biggest fear that you didnt feel the same way anymore. im not sure if id rather have you as a friend or just a peice of history. i want whichever will hurt the least, i suppose.



~you say you need time alone, but yet when you catch my scent you want it to surround you.. you want all the benefits a boyfriend would have with me, but i don't want to give in to you.. it will make it seem as if what you've done is okay. it's not okay, at all. all i want is to just kiss you as if it was all the same. today made me realize that you want best of both worlds.. it's not going to happen.

i feel bad about certain things i've done, and if I knew it would ruin us I would have changed the way everything happened, but i guess i cant do anything about it. After seeing what it's like with someone else, I knew exactly what I wanted, and it was you.. its just so hard because i felt like when i started to get close to you, you pushed me away. and now that i'm trying to move on, you come and try to make it seem like you want me back. but you dont, you dont want things to be the way they used to be. you want to be able to have fun and not have to worry about other peoples feelings and not have all of these commitments. except you expect me to only be with you, while you can talk to all these other chicks who dont care about you half as much as i do. its so unfair to me. i dont know, im too stuck on not hurting people to care about myself sometimes. i guess we both have things to get over.


"Well, I love the way your hands touch mine
Like a gift from god, worth a lifetime
In case tomorrow doesn’t find its way
Just stay love is forever don't throw it away"




*I wrote those entries in 2006 (on Livejournal!!) when I was going through pretty much the same situation with the same person. It's incredible to see how things change and how other things never do; everything eventually comes full circle. For whatever reason, this needed to be documented. I am desperately seeking closure; I can't keep beating myself up for not being enough for this person, when in reality, he will never be satiated- with anybody. There comes a time when you're just sick of it all, all the games, the playing. Stability is a factor in my life that must be considered, and I will never allow my feelings for someone to overcome my reality, ever again.

What Ari Says.

{Our conversation before Ari attended her 'Princess Ball' {with my heels on}

Ari: Okay, stay there, and be good.

Me: Don't worry, I'll make you proud

Ari: {after she turns and smiles} You always do.


I may have cried. I love my kid. ♥

Pointed North.

This weekend didn't turn out quite like I had planned, but it was fun nonetheless. Unfortunately on friday, I ended up passing out on the couch until 1130 at night, therefore rendering plans with Lorena not possible. We ended up rescheduling for a lunch date yesterday, which was SO nice. Afterwards, I headed to Providence to have a few beers at Muldowneys. My friends and I ended up leaving there and walking down the street to the Alley Cat, a tucked away little gay bar. We usually will stop at the Stable, but we all voted on the latter. Such a fun night! Anything goes in that place, and the atmosphere was cool; the bartenders were super nice and personable, drinks were strong, and the bar was packed. I sung my heart out and had a great time.

Today, I needed a little time to clear my head, and it was beautiful out. I packed my blanket, a book, the camera and some tea and headed to Pascoag- to a small little clearing on the outskirts of a pond. The sun was shining so brightly, and so I hunkered down on my blanket to read. It was nice to lay there, in the complete quiet, except for a few leaves rustling to the ground. Overall, I'd say a successful, lazy sunday.






























~just a random one from a weekend morning...

i'm so ready for bed, sleep tight xo ♥

my life.

via~ fuck! i'm in my twenties

Friday Happenings.

What are you lovelies up to this weekend? I'm hoping to take it kind of easy, and possibly start a new sewing project. Tonight is a much needed night out with my best friend and a few others. Beers, good talks and clearing my head will all be accomplished. I'm so tempted to just pack a bag, throw some blankets in the backseat, fill my car up with gas, and head somewhere I've never been. I'm craving change; I need a break from the monotony.

This week has felt like one of the longest in my life. I'll be back tomorrow with tales of a wild, debaucherous night (just kidding... maybe?)

I'll leave you with a beautiful song that's resonating with me today; conjuring up images of running away.



"Love's tame, you can't set it free
Come back and it's meant to be
The story's old, the odds have changed
Return or not, it feels the same

Be still, let the journey bring
Calm winds and a song to sing
Unroll the map and plot the course
Ignore the needle pointing north

Waves crash on a vacant pier
Boats rock on a sea of fear
The tide is high, your hope still floats
Pull the anchor, cut the ropes"

Have a great friday! xo