31 January 2012

I Swam Away to Watch You Drift

"Don't let yesterday use up too much of today."

I've had a lot of time to think and quite frankly, it's time for a change. The above quote really put things in perspective for me, and I'm not going to let yesterday make me sad today. Things are gonna be fine. When C left, I was so hurt and angry. After a few weeks, things started to look up. Now, it's probably one of the best decisions that had been made and I'm thankful. I've grown so much since then and I haven't really realized it until now. I'm secure with myself and who I am, I have my moments but for the most part I've started to become comfortable with myself, dare I say even like myself. As much as I've wanted to give up on SO much, I pushed forward and whether it worked or didn't, the feeling of trying made/makes me continue to have hope for something, for anything. So all I'm gonna do is keep going, and surround myself with people who want to love me. That and the newest Eisley album, The Valley, is seriously making me feel a ton better as lame as that sounds. I jam out at work and it keeps me from thinking. I really apologize for all the whiny posts, writing is such an outlet for me and I literally feel as if a giant weight is lifted off my chest once I finish my thoughts.

Tonight Ari and I went to Lowes to get samples of paint and lo and behold, my friend Trevor works there! He had me laughing when he told me he had never painted walls in his life, but talks about paint with people for six hours a day. LOL. So we got our colors, a seafoam/aqua and a deep purple. We got home and Ari was eating her dinner, I started to dye my hair. Red. Which I said I'd never do. Apparently I am serious about change, because I did it. When Ari saw it, she asked if she could have her hair red. I said, "no baby, your hair is beautiful." She proceeded to throw an awesome fit about that. Little A is going through a tattoo phase too, and it's awesome considering she want kitties and dinosaurs hahaha. Lovin' her always, she gets funnier by the day. And my hair ended up turning out pretty cool. My hair didn't pick up the color very well on the majority of it so you can barely tell, but where you can actually see it, it looks nice ha. I saw a really rad light pink dye at the store, and I'm seriously considering bleaching the underside of my hair in the back and putting the pink in. ;] Changes everywhere.

I've made no leeway with where I want to go on mini vaca. Yet, still exciting; And the more I look, the more time seems to be slowing down. UGH. That's what I get for having something to look forward to haha.

Starting to fall asleep so I'll end this here haha.



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